Nesting: The Final Days of Pregnancy

I can't believe it's already here (on the 6th) - my due date! Pregnancy seems so long and it kind of is, but once the end comes it just seems to come out of nowhere. Until a few days ago, I was almost in denial that I had less than a week before my due date. Even though we are pretty much all prepared for Baby's big arrival, it seems surreal that we will be adding another sweet little member to our family. Part of me is anxious about the changes to come, because we have such a steady family dynamic with the four of us. Another part of me thinks that since we already have two, maybe it won't be as big of a change this time around. I have heard and been warned that the third can be the hardest but I am remaining optimistic. I really think it will be great!

Because I love looking back on life, I thought it would be fun to reflect on the past nine months while they are still fresh in my mind. It's amazing how much of pregnancy is forgotten years later. This is what it has been like this time around:

May was a hard month. We had just found out we were expecting and I had the beginnings of morning sickness. I suppose I can wrap June into this one as well, because it was one big huge blur of crap- just being honest! I was sick all. day. long. From sun up to sun down. I never actually threw up, which I think might have actually brought some relief from the terrible constant nausea. I was also completely exhausted, more so than either of my previous pregnancies. It was basically like I was recovering from the stomach flu for two months straight. I tried so many things to get relief and nothing really worked all that well. I even had prescription meds, which might have just kept me from throwing up which might have been more of a curse than a blessing.

It was also during this time, about March-May, that I realized I loved photography. In June I was a second shooter in a wedding with a friend and I felt AWFUL morning-sickness wise. But I did it! I made it a whole ten hours and completely collapsed in my bed at the end of the day. But it was so worth it!

In July the fog started to lift. By the time I was 14-15 weeks I was able to go off my medicine and actually eat meals again. :) It was glorious! There were a few things I was still feeling quite averted to (like coffee, wah) but overall was much better. I did quite a few park dates with my boys and just really enjoyed a leisurely summer. During this month I started to think about the possibility of starting a photography business. I was doing it just for fun at this point and enjoying it so much, and was getting a lot of positive feedback. It was during this month that I started working on my website as a way to showcase my work and give information to anyone who might be interested to work with me.

In August I second-shot for another wedding and the lady I shot for was so so encouraging and really helped me learn so much! I continued to work on my website and changed the look multiple times. I really scoured the internet for cool free graphics and learned a lot about photoshop. I also learned a lot about photo editing in lightroom. I spent many many nights up until the wee hours of the morning (I'm talking 2-3am!) working on all of it, simply because I LOVED it and it was really the only time I had to focus without the kids. Also, Dave and Julian both had birthdays at the end of August, and I had a lot of fun throwing them a little party. :) I really had two worlds going on, growing a business and loving on/ taking care of my family.

In September-October I was still feeling great- not too big or uncomfortable and no more morning sickness. I was focusing a lot on my website, a relaxed & unofficial business plan, and more shooting gigs- on top of engaging my husband, boys and managing our home. It sounds like it should have been super crazy, but really it wasn't! I worked on my stuff at night after the boys went to bed about 4-5 nights a week, and sometimes I would take an hour or two during the day. I had some stressful days when I was "stuck" on something or another, usually computer related, and would get so frustrated I would have to just walk away for awhile. But to be completely honest- the only reason I was doing it in the first place was because I was truly enjoying it, despite the frustrating moments.

In October I also started feeling the effects of my anemia and had to take it a little easier than in the previous months. I have beta-thalassemia, which is a genetic anemic blood trait that basically means I have small red blood cells. Each pregnancy I've been told to take a whole bunch of extra iron- which helps some but not completely since I technically don't have iron deficiency anemia. It's weird- most people in my family have this since we come from Mediterranean descent. Pregnancy is the only time it has ever bothered me, as it usually has no symptoms. Once the end of October came, I had to prioritize and work around my fatigue. Some days were worse than others, and grocery shopping was the bane of all my responsibilities. Oh, how I loathed it! :) Side note: In December I found out about Meijer's curbside service and have never looked back. If they ever stop it my heart will shatter into a million pieces. It really is too good to be true!

In November I really started slowing down. Each day was different than the next fatigue-wise, and I was anxious to just be DONE with my website and move on. It started to get old at this point. The problem was that I was super picky, and tried a lot of different things before deciding they didn't look quite right and would change them. It was a vicious cycle, and I refused to pay someone to do it because I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted but knew I would know once I saw. Plus, I'm not technically profitable yet and not willing the invest the money until I am. So there's that.

December was so much better. I knew I would be huge pregnant by Christmas time, so I was very motivated to prepare for that and get everything we needed done in a relaxed way. I made a ton of lists for Christmas shopping and baby preparation, FINISHED MY WEBSITE, and changed my vitamins which ended up helping immensely with my fatigue. I was very intentional to savor the time with my boys. I finished my photography grunt-startup work so I could take a break before Baby is born, and really enjoyed sharing the business news with my family, friends, and on facebook. Then I really hit Christmas shopping and baby preparation. About a week or two before Christmas my nesting kicked in and since then I've been riding an immense wave of energy, thankfully! I've gotten so much done and have been really good at keeping up with the house, with the help of my sister Alannah who has done so much for me!

I also feel the need to mention that Dave and I have gone on a weekly date night throughout this entire pregnancy with the help of my very selfless Dad who committed to watching our boys. Aside from pregnancy and photography, one thing I look back on over this past year so fondly is the quality time I've had with my husband. I really feel prepared to enter into the newborn stage again in part because we've been so intentional about investing in each other consistently. We even plan to continue our dates after Baby comes, they'll just be a little shorter. :) We also love getting into shows together, and realized that American Idol is starting up soon which will be nice to watch together in our sleep deprived blur. Hah!

Overall, so many wonderful things have grown along with my sweet baby over the past nine months, and I am feeling so blessed and so ready to meet him and start the next chapter.

Babies and Business

What a crazy past few months it has been! Things are finally starting to slow down a little and I'm trying to take it all in stride. It's funny, I've always been a relaxed and chill sort of person and I LOVE my couch time. :) But there has been a fire burning inside me for awhile now that has kept me super motivated and almost type-a-ish about things. I am almost ready to launch my photography website which was 100% designed by me (!!!). That's crazy to even say because I am so not a techy-webby girl! My site is nothing fancy, but it is mine and there was a lot of blood, sweat, and tears involved and a LOT of very late nights and tired days as a result. So crazy though, how when you are passionate about something you find a way to power through. I wasn't trying to rush, I have no timeline, I just want to do it right and I enjoy doing it, really. Designing graphics and the challenge of figuring out the correct coding for the look I'm trying to achieve... it's exciting! The link to my site is in my menu bar as "photography". Check it out if you're interested!

You might have also noticed that things are looking a little different around here as well. With my whole "having created my own website" confidence I have now, I decided to change the look of this space to fit me better. I loved my old design but felt like I've grown out of it a bit. And when I do it myself I can make it look exactly (or very close to) how I want it, which is harder when someone else in another state who I've never met designs it. So ANYWAY.

I'm finding myself a little restless as I near the launch of my photography business. Most of the grunt work is done, I'm seven months pregnant and we are waiting to list our house for sale until the baby comes and we are all settled/adjusted. A photography friend of mine said it's like I'm pregnant with twins... a business and a baby! Haha I suppose metaphorically she is so right. So I'm at this point where a lot of exciting things are happening soon, and I'm just...well, waiting! My belly is getting heavy and my back is getting sore, and I'm coming to the realization that this baby is eventually going to have to come out (yay labor!) and I'm getting nervous about that. Sometime I will post my birth story with Julian on here, but for now suffice it to say that while everything went smooth medically, it was extremely fast, painful and overwhelming. And when I say painful, I don't mean regular birth. I had a regular labor and birth with my first son and loudly moaned through the excruciating contractions without the aid of pain meds... but the pain with Julian was on a whole 'notha level. Tell you what, just google "precipitous labor" and read some of the articles and maybe that will give you an idea. At least I managed to move on without therapy... not to be dramatic or anything. ;)

So, tomorrow is my 31st birthday and I'll be spending the day with my sweet family and having dinner with our great friends Kyle and Erika Johnson and their boys. We were with them last year at this time down in Florida. I can't believe it's been a year already. Wow! Time flies. I'm so thankful to have good friends to navigate life with. Makes it that much richer.

Nostalgia and Anticipation.

I'm feeling nostalgic today.

It could be the leaves changing and temps dropping... fall has always been my favorite season. Earlier I took Julian for a drive through our old neighborhood and remembered all the memories we had in our old house. I was happy to see the huge tree in our old yard was ablaze with colors of orange and yellow. I love that tree and how it's leaves blanket the yard so beautifully. Sigh. Interestingly enough, I posted on this exact day four years ago about Zach and I playing in the leaves. I loved reading it and remembering that time in our lives. Although they were not without their challenges, they were also filled with such hope and excitement. I sure do miss that house and those days.

With having a lot of change and unknowns in the coming 6 or so months (new baby, hopefully selling our house, buying another, possibly renting in between), I'm really trying to be present and enjoy this time now. If there's anything I've learned about looking forward, it's that once I get to the "future" I was looking forward to, I look back and realize that I miss the time I'm in now and feel nostalgic for it. Weird, but not at the same time. Life is funny.

I drove past Heidi's Farmstand (or local pumpkin patch/farmstand/bakery) on our way home from our drive and saw that they have extended hours on Fridays and Saturdays. I'm going to make it a point to take the boys there, get some donuts, cider, and pumpkins and then come home and carve those babies. We didn't do it last year for some reason, and darn it all we're making it happen this year.

In pregnancy news, I'm getting- how do I say this- bigger? Hah. In my third trimester now and feeling a little nervous about labor but trying to keep it all in perspective. It's just a few hours (or in my case, less than 1.5!) and then you have a squishy, cuddly baby forever. Totally worth it! At my 20 week ultrasound they found a small cyst in the baby's abdomen, and they think it's on the spleen but aren't 100% sure. They said they see this a lot and that it's nothing to worry about but ya know... I don't like them throwing around words like "pediatric surgeon". Again, all across the board my doctors aren't concerned and think it will resolve on it's own. In the event baby does need surgery, it will be non-invasive and apparently not a huge deal (to the docs, anyway). Please pray for the best outcome for my little babe!!

And now, I will try to get some R&R before Juju wakes from his nap. Until next time!

Whirlwind Summer

Boy oh boy, I can tell you right now I feel so loaded up with updates I don't even know where to start. I really shouldn't wait so long between posts. Not sure if this one will be a doozy or if I will break it up into a few posts. Let's find out together, shall we?

First it would be appropriate to update on my pregnancy, of course! I am currently 17 weeks along and feeling so so so much better than I was in the beginning. Holy smokes, I don't know if I really was more sick and more tired this time around or if it just felt that way because I'm chasing more kids around but wow. I cannot even put into words how hard it was! I barely did anything around the house and my poor husband had to pick up my slack (which he did great at by the way). I started feeling better around 14-15 weeks, and still feeling more fatigued than normal but improved. I haven't really had any cravings yet, I'm still just getting used to having an appetite again. I still don't get super hungry, which is odd for me, especially while preggo. The closest thing I've had to a craving so far is anything that sounds like it won't make me sick, ha.

I've also been EMOTIONS. Like nobody's business. I don't remember crying this much, ever. Not at sad things, but everything. Sometimes I am shocked by it and say "really, Lindsay? This is making you cry? Is this really happening?" Haha most of the time it is amusing, but there has been one time where it came out in anger and let's just say I felt bad for Dave after it passed and Zach told me I was mean. I don't think he's ever said that to me before. I guess the whole family sacrifices when momma is pregnant, but I will say I am usually always a positive and happy person. So we'll just say it happened, now we're moving on. :)

We find out on August 17 if this babe is a boy or a girl, and I have a really strong feeling of what it's going to be. :) I'll give you a hint, the color associated with it's gender rhymes with "you". :D But we'll see, not long now before we know for sure! Here's the bump, anyway!

13 weeks :)

17 weeks :)

Another little fun fact- I chopped my hair off! After the horrible haircut I had five years ago (that took over a year and a half to grow back out) I was so scared to do much with it once it got long again, but eventually I caved because I have SO MUCH HAIR and it is a pain to make look nice. I am now able to blow it dry and straighten/curl it in a half hour. I'll take it! :)

Here is a bathroom selfie that I was too embarrassed to post anywhere but here because, well, it's a bathroom selfie. :) This was the day I got it cut.

That kind of leads into something that is a little sad but not all that surprising to me... I have felt called away from doing hair in a very strong way. Not even in a "still for friends and extended family" kind of way but in a "only immediate family when they absolutely need it" kind of way. It's a really interesting thing to go through, because from the beginning I never planned on hair being a long term thing. I was 20 years old when I graduated from school and my plan was always to use my trade to support myself through college. Of course a lot changed along the way, and hair always remained as a fun skill that I could always have with me if I needed it, but I knew there would come a day when I would be done with it, and that day is now. I suppose what surprises me about it was how much I dreaded my appointments. Not because they were hard or anything wrong with the person, but I just did NOT want to do hair anymore, period. I stopped taking appointments when I got sick, and felt so relieved that I had a legitimate excuse to tell people no, which made me realize I was for sure done. So there it is. And I am more than okay with it. :)

On a lighter note, I'll leave you with some simple things I have been enjoying this summer.

My boys! I'm so in love, I just cannot get over them. They love being outside, and I have felt so guilty about not taking them to parks enough or even outside enough during the first part of summer because all I could do was lay on the couch! But we are trying to make up for it now.

Zach is the best big brother EVER. He is so sweet, even when Julian is a little stinker to him. His favorite thing ever (and mine!) is reading to his little brother. Just melts. my. heart.

 This is our third summer in our house and we just realized that we have black raspberry bushes lining our entire backyard. How did I miss that?! No idea, but the boys loved picking and eating them. It's crazy how many berries a little kid can tuck in in one sitting. I was impressed!

Perhaps my favorite thing about this summer is no school for Big Z! My goodness I have kept him up so late on some nights I wonder if I'm doing this parenting thing right. ;) We just love having him home and being able to stay up and watch movies and play games and not worry about getting up early. He sure is excited about first grade though, and I'm excited that he's excited!

I just had to put this one in here because Dave and Julian have this new game called "ready" where Dave holds him by the armpits and using his legs flips him around in a circle. It scared the bajeebers out of me the first time he did it but we're all used to it now. #godad

While on summer break from GVSU my little sister Alannah has been able to spend so much time at our home! Dave, the boys and I all LOVE having her here, she is such a positive and FUN presence. She loves introducing me to new shows, cooking and painting nails together. In the weeks leading up to Zach's birth, we literally painted our nails a different color every single day. We love baking brownies and watching movies together. Despite our nine year gap, we have always been close and even though I'll always be her big big sister I love seeing that gap narrow as we both get older. Our middle sister Brianne is in Texas with her fiance for the summer, and we are looking forward to having her back in Michigan this fall to finish school!

Alannah also got her very first car ever thus summer. Haaaaaaaaallelujah!!!

Farmer's market selfie with mom, Alannah and the boys. Dad was impatient and ducked out the last second. Ha.

I am very sad to say that this coffee loving girl no longer loves coffee, at least for now. I had such a strong aversion to it the first few months of this pregnancy that even though I'm feeling better I still can't quite do coffee. I think it's my body's way of saying "baby don't like that!" So, I have been experimenting with other different drinks which has been fun. Starbucks has this Very Berry Refresher that was seriously so good I took a picture of it. Yumm!

And of course my trusty green tea. I am picky about my green tea and have only found two that I love. This one is Celestial Seasonings honey lemon ginseng with white tea for a smoother taste. I sweeten it with a little stevia and oh my taste buds it is delicious. 

Sometimes I like to make myself a nice little afternoon hors d'oeuvre and eat it alone on my porch. It's just one of those little things I do for myself that fills my tank up a little bit. :)

Something about walking down to our landing one day and seeing two little pairs of crocks amidst Dave and I's shoes was so sweet to me I just had to take a picture. Children don't choose to be here, they are here because we brought them here and evidence of their presence is everywhere. It makes me sentimental for some reason. I even feel that way about toys on the living room floor after they go to bed. It's evidence of their joy and innocence that fills this house and makes it a home. I love love love it!

And last but not least- I was a second shooter for my first wedding! I have really been getting into photography as a creative outlet and am love love loving every second of it so far. I have done a family/ maternity session, a home birth, a newborn shoot, a wedding, and numerous pictures of my boys. I am planning on continuing it for the foreseeable future and look forward to what's in store.

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,