Paying Off Debt: A Great Story

Happy December, Friends!

Tonight I want to share with you an exciting season that Dave and I are entering into. We have made the decision to radically pay off our student loans, literally as fast as we can. We are using Dave Ramsey's debt snowball, and since student loans are the only debt we have (besides our house, of course) we hope this will be a shorter, rather than longer, season.

It all started a couple months ago when Dave and I had a deep discussion about tithing and giving. We really want to give more without worrying about being so tight through the month, and we want to get to a place where we don't have to be such sticklers about things like our grocery budget. Don't get me wrong, I know things like that will fluctuate some each time, but if we aren't careful we can easily break our budget just on groceries. What it all boils down to is we want to glorify God with our finances, and it is difficult to do that when we are paying SO MUCH to student loans every month.

So after that discussion, we had a day where we were feeling a little down about our finances. We were thinking negative thoughts, like how we can only afford to pay the minimum balance on our loans and how there really isn't anything extra we can cut out of our budget. Then on the second day, we had en epiphany. We decided that we were not going to be victims, that our debt is temporary, and how temporary it is going to be is really up to us.

So we looked at our finances again. We saw things that we didn't see before and thought of more radical ideas that, when you think about them, aren't too radical after all.

"Do we really need two cars?"

"How much money could we save by dropping down to one car?" <~~~ a lot, actually, when you include the car payment, cost of insurance and extra gas.

"Do we NEED our smartphones? How much money could we save by downgrading back to our old 'dumb phones'?"

"Could we shave anything off our grocery budget? even just $10 a week?"

"Where can we pull in some extra income on the side?"

"What would it look like to stop using debit cards and start paying cash for everything?"

Once we started asking ourselves these questions and just entertaining these ideas, we actually got excited as we looked at the numbers and realized how much extra money we could channel into our loans. We were under no impression that it would be easy our fun, but we reminded ourselves that the luxury of having all these "things" and conveniences was costing us exponentially more than we were paying for them when you consider how much they were stunting our ability to pay off our loans.

I will never forget the day we deactivated our smart phones and reactivated our battered old dumb phones we pulled out of storage. I had wanted an iphone for so long and I had just gotten mine a couple months prior. I know it is a material matter but I won't lie and say I didn't feel that sting a little. But I also had peace knowing that we were doing the right thing. What stood out to me most about that day is when Dave looked at me and said, "This might just be one of the greatest stories of our marriage." Funny how that happens during the more trying seasons.  ;)

Now here is the real kicker. About a week after we made this decision, we no longer had smart phones and Dave had put his car up for sale. I had told my dad about our plan, and he thought it was a great idea and was very proud of us. He thought it was a little radical to only have one car with the boys, but I assured him that we would be fine. So many families have done it and still do it every day, how would we be any different? So a week later, Dad came over for a visit, and informed us out of the blue that he wanted to BUY US A VEHICLE, plus pay the insurance for a year. That way we would have two paid for vehicles and no extra insurance cost. Wow! What a blessing! We saw it as almost immediate affirmation that we are doing the right thing.

So we are now the proud owners of a new-to-us 2007 Town & Country Minivan. Let me tell you, I will never again make fun of minivans- they are AWESOME. So much room and the stow-and-go seats are so convenient! They boys also love having the extra space. I am so grateful, to my dad for his sacrifice and to God for his provision.

So here we are- still in the beginning of this little adventure. I am working on the whole pay-with-cash thing, it is quite different when you're used to never having cash! I am also looking for ways to make meals go farther and just little grocery saving tips and tricks. I am putting all my side money from doing hair directly into student loans (after the tithe), and Dave and I have already paid off one small loan and it felt GOOD.

I am so looking forward to the day we can say we are free from student loan debt. However, while the natural challenges of this season are inevitable, I am looking forward to  the unforseen blessings of this season, however simple, that will indeed make it one of the greatest stories of our marriage.

New Terrain

I am turning 30 this year.

Cray.

I have been excited to turn 30 since my early twenties when I entered the "professional workforce" and wasn't taken seriously. I have worked with a lot of difficult people... but we'll save that can of worms for another time. Now approaching the next decade of my life, I have been reflecting often on what I have learned and how I have changed, and am growing in a freer season of acceptance.

My twenties have a lot of life packed into them. So many firsts: apartment, house, child, degree, "real job". Marriage. Second child. Finding God. Making lifelong friends (I have no doubt!). Then there are the littler things. I find much beauty in the subtle changes over the years, such as my homekeeping style and sense of fashion. Different things that move me. Better understanding of myself reflected in the way I relate to and communicate with others.

The really neat thing about the age I am at is that it seems as though I am on the cusp of young naivety and a more seasoned youth. I have discovered so much about myself and the world these past nine years, and I suppose one of my favorite things I have learned, and am continuing to learn, is how to relax peacefully into who I am. I have made a lot of mistakes, some one time and some multiple times, and through that have learned a lot about my character traits and also how to more effectively guide myself through certain issues and seasons. I am getting better at looking at myself objectively, which has been an incredibly wonderful paradigm shift. I am finding that the better I know myself the better I can take care of myself (and others), be gentle when I make mistakes, and forgive.

Learning how to forgive has been an essential part of my growth, compounded by the equally important skill of letting go of guilt. My mom guilt and adventurous spirit are often at odds. When my days consist of caring for babes, laundry and dishes, each day feeling so similar to the one previous, time seems to pass in monotonous and mundane living. And it is hard on my adventurous heart.

However... I find that after some time passes, I look back and realize that a lot is actually changing in me, even through the sameness of all the days. Every so often, during reflection, I will realize that I have a new bud of passion stirring in my heart that could have been inspired by the oddest thing out of nowhere, such as a melody or even a simple summer breeze. Similar to the way I feel nostalgic about certain smells and sounds because of the memories they bring, so I also seem to own a sort of reverse nostalgia in which my senses react to something they never have before, giving me a thrill of excitement and longing for the future, as if I have grown without realizing it and am being gently ushered forward into refreshing new terrain.

I am learning that motherhood and adventure are not mutually exclusive. I suppose I am starting to define adventure in a way I never have before, a more eternal way that involves the mind and the heart more than the experience at face value. The way I think and feel about what I experience is what makes life grander more than what I actually experience. And I am realizing more every day that when I infuse love into every thought and action, everything is just better.

With much help from God and my dear husband, I am learning the art of self love. I am becoming more comfortable with doing things for myself without feeling guilty (which can be a hard feat when you're a mom, am I right?). Getting a pedicure feels SO nice once in awhile. Taking a bubble bath when my little one is napping and the older is watching a movie. Putting off switching the laundry over for 10 minutes so I can paint my toenails a pretty spring orange that will bring me joy each time I look down. Saying yes to all these little things makes a positive difference in my life that spreads to my husband and children.

Self love is building quiet confidence within me. With this confidence is coming a sense of freedom to securely accept and enjoy who I am and explore interests and just love life. It feels like I'm really coming into my own. After all the ups and downs of my twenties, all the insecurity and all the hard lessons, the good times and laughter, the blood sweat and tears and battles I've fought have brought me to where I am now, to a place where I can say not only am I living and loving and learning, but I feel so alive. If ten years can do all this, I can't wait for the next ten. Here's to looking at you, 30.

Father's Day: Honoring Dad

I am such a lucky girl to have my daddy.

In the spirit of Father's Day, I am going to honor my dad in this post and share a few stories from my childhood with him that are dear to my heart.

I have always been a daddy's girl. My parents divorced when I was very young, and I am my dads only child. My dad is a mans man to the core. An army vet, he loves the wilderness, camping, sports, fishing, anything outdoorsy or active. My parents also were told I was going to be a boy, so naturally my dad was pleased. The moment I was born and my dad found out I was a girl, he said it was a wonderful surprise! And you know what? I grew up fishing, camping, playing outside in the mud, playing sports, watching sports (football! football!) and I loved every minute of it, because I was with my dad. He also attended his fair share of daddy daughter dances, clothes shopping extravaganzas, Barbie birthday parties and the like. I especially loved when we would play pretty pretty princess.... even though he would win every time. :)

My dad was always there for everything, even though he lived on the other side of the state. We talked multiple times a week on the phone, and I stayed with him every other weekend and for a month every summer. Looking back on my childhood, the thing I love most about my dad is his engaged presence. He always met me where I was at and talked about things that were relevant to my age and that mattered to me, and always with respect. And he always told me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me.

So first I feel it necessary to share some camping stories, because most of the BEST memories I have with my dad are from camping. I grew up before the technology rage of cell phones and smart phones and laptops and being "plugged in", so naturally it was easier to be present and connect.

My dad would make it so fun! First, we would pack up all the essentials: tent, cot or pad, sleeping bag, pillow, clothes, flashlight, deck of cards, cooler, firewood, camping cookware which consisted of skewers and these metal bowl things with a handle, to heat soup and the like over the fire. Then we would go to Meijer and get ice, a bunch of one serving boxes of cereal, non refrigerated milk, pudding, hot dogs, chips, veggies, drinks, stuff for s'mores, and whatever else we felt like. Sometimes we even got spam or Vienna sausages! We would get everything we needed to keep cold in the cooler and make our way to the campground, check in, and always got the campsite furthest in the woods.

Then we would break camp- pitch the tent, hammer in the stakes, secure the rainfly (always, just in case :), and load our cots, sleeping bags and other belongings in the tent. Then we would immediately get our long pants and boots on and search for kindling, because getting the fire going early was of the utmost importance if you wanted a good burning fire at night! Then dad would bring out his radio and put classic rock on low, and we would make a teepee with the kindling to get the fire started. Once the fire was going, we would do normal camping activities like swimming, playing catch, etc. but the absolute best time came after dusk when my dad would pull out his guitar and we would sit around the fire, just the two of us, and talk for hours. We had some great conversations, told funny stories, and just enjoyed each other's presence without any distractions. It was simply beautiful.

Some camping memories I will never forget:

1. Having to evacuate our campsite suddenly due to a tornado warning in Port Huron. We drove through the baseball sized hail to the nearest Meijer for shelter only to find the doors locked! Someone finally let us in and rushed us to the back until the tornado was gone. We arrived back to our campsite to find the tornado had done so much damage, and our tent was in the next campsite over with a torn rainfly. So what did we do then? Moved the tent back, hung our wet things to dry and stayed another night of course! No wussies here :)

2. Finding out Barry Sanders retired while camping. That was a bummer.

3. Camping in a terrible thunderstorm. My mom was worried about us so drove out to the campground, only to find us eating s'mores and playing cards in the tent.

4. Fishing... So much fishing.

5. Carving our names into the tree at our campsite, then seeing it every time we came back and got that site.

6. One crazy canoeing adventure which involved biffing numerous times, losing our paddles twice, losing our shoes, walking barefoot through the woods carrying our canoe, then finally reaching the end.  Oh, and I was 10.

7. Dad slipping in the mud going up a hill and trying to regain his grip which resulted in running in place for numerous hilarious seconds.

8. The time a raccoon ate our styrofoam cooler.

9. My uncle peeing through the screen of the tent because he could not for the life of him get the zipper undone and he had to go THAT BAD.

10. Spilling water on the radio and all my dad could say was "Water on the radio?! Water on the radio?!" over and over.

That only scratches the surface. I felt it necessary to share so much about camping because those were some of my best memories. Here are some other random memories of being with my dad growing up:

1. His cat Judy and all the crazy nicknames we had for her and all the stories we created about her adventures. And she had quite a few!

2. Playing at the park across from his house for hours, then trudging through the woods behind the
park to see what treasure we could find (a lot of baseballs) then coming out the other side of the woods at a cemetery and looking at all the gravestones with respect and awe.

3. Coming back home after playing in the cold and my dad making soup with little green things in it.

4. Da-doink- the name of a short story in which I tried kicking a ball backwards over my head and instead kicked it into my head, then crawling on the ground laughing so hard, then looking at him and saw he was also on all fours laughing then laughing even harder.

5. So much football.

6. Teaching me how to make myself a bologna sandwich.

7. Singing kumbaya to me on his guitar.

8. Recording me and my silliness on tape at every birthday.

9. Camping out in my backyard and always bringing goodies!

10. Flowers sent to my house every birthday and valentines day.

11. Being there when I had both my children.

12. Walking me down the isle at my wedding.

13. Ringing christmas bells outside my window as a child, and helping me believe in the magic of Christmas.

14. Making me surf and turf and watching Jesus Christ Superstar every Easter.

15. Long deep conversations at night about everything, including God.

16. He never remarried after my mom. As a kid I remembering asking if he was going to get married, to which he replied "you are the only woman in my life".

There are so many more great memories, and I am thankful for a thoughtful father who sacrificed so much for me and loved me so well my whole life and continues to do so. My dad is a loyal and honorable man. Thank you daddy for teaching me by example what it means to be selfless as a parent and how to be completely present and engaged with others. Thank you for handing down to me your passion and intensity for things you believe in. Thanks for being the world's best Papa to my boys. I love you forever!

The Never Ending Adventure

I can't tell you why, but for some reason lately I've been thinking a lot about myself as an older woman. I keep thinking about what my life will be like once the kids are out of the house, my youth has faded, and I qualify for social security and medicaid. The words that have been running through my head are "begin with the end in mind". 

When I am older, I don't want to look back at my life and think that my best years are behind me. Because right now, I feel like they are ahead of me. I have so much to learn and more growing and seasoning to do, I am still young and can easily work out and become fit, I can play around in the yard with my sons if I want and go exploring in the woods. I can go back to school if I want, I can stay in on a Saturday night or I could go out dancing! I have yet to see my children grow up, and to be honest I am looking forward to those fun years the most! 

The thing is, the things I look forward to the most in life seem to taper off by the time I reach retirement age. So I've been thinking of how to shift my way of thinking about that. Right now, if I begin with the end in mind, I have the power to create the kind of life I will have in the future. While I know the ultimately my life is in God's hands, there is still a great deal of my life that I have control of based on the decisions I make every day. And one thing is for sure- when I am older, I want to feel as if my best days are head of me.

How am I going to do that? Well right now I'm not exactly sure. I suppose if my tastes are similar then as they are now, my life will look something like this:

*Weekly date nights with Dave

*Many visits with children and grandchildren

*Have a garden

*Many trips a year to different places around the world- the Carolinas, California, Mexico, Europe... who knows!

*Constant learning- maybe I will take classes at a community college just to keep my brain challenged!

*Lots of reading

*Much service to others and the church

*Mentoring and inspiring younger women

*Exercise

I could go on, but I think this is a pretty good list to start. Now I have the opportunity to live my life in a way that will make this possible. No matter how old I get, my life will be a never ending adventure... Here's to the years to come!

Lindsay