The Twelfth Month

*This was written yesterday*

Today, my little Gabriel James, you start your last month of babyhood. With you being our last baby (at least in our plans, ha!), I knew full well how fleeting this first year would be. The past eleven months I've taken the sleep deprivation in stride, treated myself to Biggby coffee more times than I'd like to admit, and really savored each and every moment with your sweet little cuddly self. 

In January, you were born and we brought you home to meet your brothers and get settled in. That first week you had a tongue tie clipped, mommy had a wisdom tooth pulled, and both your brothers got sick. It was eventful to say the least!

In February, we spent an entire Sunday afternoon cozied up in bed together- you napping and I watched my favorite show (in between watching you sleep, of course). 

In March, we spent our first day apart when I had an expo booth for my photography business. You did so good, and looking back I still can't believe we pulled it off! Your big brother Julian also got a bad case of hand-foot-mouth and I was worried you would get it, but you didn't thankfully!

In April as I helped my sister, your Aunt Bri, plan her wedding and threw her a shower, I realized you and I were really getting into the groove of doing life together. You became my cutest little sidekick. You also met your Uncle Nic for the first time and you got your first cold and had to get a steroid (so sad!). 

In May you stole hearts as I dressed you up in a suit and tie for your Aunt Bri's wedding. We danced together, you looking in amazement at the lights, and me savoring how little and light you felt in my arms and trying to imagine how big and tall you'll be when we dance together at your wedding someday. 

In June you went through a major sleep regression, and by doing so taught me something very important- that even though the high calling of motherhood comes with high sacrifice at times, I have the strength to proceed with grace. June stretched me and grew me in ways that never would have happened if not for you, sweetheart. 

In July you started crawling full force and many evenings found me starting at your sweet face as I nursed you to sleep, realizing how fast you were growing and thanking God for the blessing of being your mother. 

In August we spent a couple days on the lake, snuggling under a light blanket as we watched your two big brothers splash in the water. I knew it would only be a short little while before I would be snuggling alone under that blanket while all three of you played, and I squeezed you extra tight, breathing in in the smell of your sweet, soft curly hair. 

In September our lives got busier with our church life group and mid-week bible study, and I realized you were a much calmer and relaxed baby than your brother Julian was. You make it easy for me to take care of my own needs, and even though you're just a sweet innocent little baby I am grateful to you for that. 

In October you really started showcasing your sweet personality with your curiosity, smiles, new teeth and sense of humor. You especially started loving the lion and monkey on the walls by your crib, and would stare at them and smile as if you all had some kind of inside joke. 

November brought the beginnings of walking, and with it the realization that my last baby is slowly phasing out of babyhood and heading into toddlerhood. Though I must say, this age is the absolute cutest ever!

December, thus far, has had a few hiccups with you not wanting to nurse because of your new teeth coming in, as well as a nasty cold and eye virus. You've pulled out of it just fine and are in great spirits every day, even with that lingering cough. 

I'm so grateful for the ability to be home with you every day, to love on you, kiss those little cheeks raw and see all your firsts. Because even though they are firsts for you, it's bittersweet as they are lasts for me. Your first smile was my last first smile. Your first step was my last first step. The third time around, I'm truly feeling like a seasoned mother. I'm ever so aware of each fleeting moment and have made it a daily practice to take it all in slowly and with gratitude. 

You are such a sweet blessing, Gabriel James. Let's enjoy this last little bit of babyhood, together. 

Mama loves you, shhh.